To Perceive

A lady sat on a park bench, looking down at her hands and rubbing her fingers together. The sun felt warm on her back as she sat in silence. 

The person that she loved had told her that he needed time apart from her, that they needed to see other people first. When she heard this, her world shattered into a thousand pieces. She tried to put her world back together, she really did. But her hands always got cut by the sharp edges and she couldn't face the fact that her world could never be the same.

 She constantly felt tired, especially today, and was finding it immensely hard to keep her eyes open. Her limbs hurt and her muscles ached. She couldn't remember the last time she actually felt hungry. 

The children playing nearby ran past her a few times with the leaves and wind behind their trails. As the wind started to pick up, a nearby dog barked while its owner led it away. A few birds settled in a tree nearby as Donna Owen contemplated on what she should do next. Her eyes trailed over to the San Francisco Golden Gate bridge and studied its strong, metallic structure. She wished that she could be strong and act as her own support system. Her mind remained faithful to her and stayed silent. There was nothing more to think about, nothing more to cry about. Her tears had been dried up after he had left. But she still felt like she was missing another crucial element in her life. 

"There you are!"

Slowly, Donna turned to meet a woman in her thirties, who looked to be out of breath. She rushed forward and embraced Donna with much vigor. Confused, Donna gently pushed the stranger away. The stranger consented and then quietly sat down on the park bench next to her. 

Donna observed her quietly while on guard. The woman had light, golden hair that flowed down to her shoulders. She had gentle and patient looking hazel eyes that were expressed themselves clearly. The woman reached over and grasped Donna's hands before giving them a reassuring squeeze. Donna silently set her hands free and cast the stranger an odd look. 

The stranger said, "Donna, why did you run off again?"

Again? Donna continued her confused gaze. "Do I...know you?'

The stranger hesitated. "Donna, we've been through this before. You can't keep running off like that," the stranger bit her lip. "It's dangerous."

A silence met the two. 

"...I was looking.,..for something," Donna finally said, removing her gaze from the stranger. "At least...I thought I was..."

The stranger tipped her head forward to try and get Donna to look at her. "Do you not remember me?"

Donna shook her head frantically, intertwining her hands together. 

"Not at all?"

Donna repeated her previous action. A sigh was heard from the golden haired stranger as Donna stared back off into space. "I...don't know...who you are...but how...do you know...my name...?"

"We're really good friends," the stranger sighed. "Are you sure you don't know me? Donna?"

There was no response. 

The stranger nodded. "Okay, Donna. Let's do this: let's be friends." she held her hand out to Donna and tried to get her to shake it, but it didn't work. Instead, she continued to stare off into space, paying no attention to the stranger next to her. 

 Exasperated, the stranger, taking the initiative, reached over and grabbed her hand, bringing the woman back into reality. "My name is Lucy. It's nice to meet you, Donna." 

Donna was startled, but was forced out of her dreams to face her realities. 

"Tell me your story, Donna," Lucy said. "Tell me about your life."

Donna didn't say anything for a few seconds but let Lucy's word sink in for a few moments. When Donna finally looked up to speak, the sun had already started to go down and the sky was tinted with a mellow orange. "I...lost someone important to me," Donna said. "...they were really important...and I lost them."

Lucy chewed her lip. "Is that so? Who was it?"

"...He doesn't want me anymore. I don't think that...he loves me...anymore."

Lucy seemed frustrated. "No, that can't be it. Why do you think that, Donna?"

Donna squeezed her eyes shut. "He left me...he doesn't want to see me anymore....I really thought...we were meant...."

"Donna, stop!" Lucy took hold of friend's arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "It really isn't what you think, Donna, You have to stop this. None of this is your fault."

"If it isn't....then...why can't I cry anymore? Why do I...hurt...."  A breeze whistled past, and the birds in the next tree started to chirp rather loudly. Donna said nothing as she stared at her hands... They were so pale...so clean....so...wrinkly...

"Oh, God, no! " Lucy threw her arms around a surprised Donna. "No, Mom! No!" 

Lucy sobbed uncontrollably into her unknowing and confused mother's shoulder. Donna sat, still confused, not quite understanding that this stranger, who she had just met minutes ago, was her daughter. Instead, she sat in silence until Lucy pulled apart to study her mother's broken face.

"Mom, it's me! Lucy! I'm your daughter! Remember?" The tears streamed down her face as she uttered these words. "It's Lucy, your daughter!"

With a muddled face, Donna stared back at her daughter. "My...daughter? But that's...impossible..."

Lucy continued with her revelations. "Dad never left you, Mom! You guys got back together and had me!" She wiped the tears with the back of her hand. "He may have left you, but he came back, Mom."

Donna seemed to be flowing in youth again as she turned to her daughter and demanded to know where her husband was. Where was he, how he was doing, and why he wasn't here now. Lucy looked grim and with tears in her eyes, looked down at the ground and said, "He's dead, Mom. He's been dead for twenty years."

At that moment, it was as if the world, yet again, shattered. 

The curtain had closed, the shadows were alive with tragedy, and they danced upon the mourning Earth and its soil. Donna made a tumultuous noise and buried her face in her aged hands, shaking with uncontrollable grief. First the first time that day, she understood what had happened. 

Lucy sobbed with her mother, and Donna now knew that this wasn't going to be the first or last time that she would go through this scene. After drying her tears, she forced herself to sit straight back up, and in doing so, noticed a small puddle of water near her feet. Her reflection showed a woman not aged by years, but by grief and confusion. Lucy consoled her mother, and this time, it was Donna herself who reached over and held onto her daughter's hand. And for the rest of the day, she promised herself to never let go of it. 

Mother and Daughter walked hand in hand as the sun set, waiting for this day to restart itself.